I don’t really believe in the “if you haven’t worn it in X years, throw it away” philosophy. Look, I have shoes from 1996. That’s like before some of you were born.
Srsly, do you stand in front of the closet in frustration, wondering what to wear? Part of it may be that you need to clean it out! [I mean, who doesn‘t need to clean their closet, right?] It will really help if your wardrobe were full of items that are flattering, and fit that you favor !
It can be so confusing when so many styles are “in,” but if you’re a grown woman, there are a few that are definitely “out.” So here’s Grace’s list of things to throw away. Topping the list:
1. The “Mom” Jean: Click on the link. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
I love the phrase, ‘Because you’re not a woman, you’re a mom.’
Even SNL found it appropriate to spoof
Those women are skinny in real life and they still look like a wide-load, imagine what “real-life” women look like. If the pants
- have pleats at the waist
- have an elastic waist
- snap higher than your belly-button
- are acid-washed
throw them away!
In a very close second place:
2. Baggy Tops: If the shoulder hangs below your shoulder, then throw it away. That includes big, boxy tee shirts and your husband’s sweatshirt you absconded.
3. The Dirdl Skirt: Unless you’re milking a cow and/or your religion requires it, throw it away. Lots of styles are in, but even Alpine peasants don’t wear these anymore.
I don't care if they're comfy!
Comfy does not = frumpy!
4. The Baggy Jumper: They may hide all your flaws, but they hide all your good features, too. Nobody looks good in one of these. Not JLo, not Angelina, nobody.
You can actually buy that on the left for $99! {at J. Jill}
And a cousin of the Baggy Jumper:
5. Overalls: If you are 4 years old and under, you may keep them. If you are a farmer, you may keep them…maybe.
On the left, $89 courtesy of J. Jill. Rear view on the right, courtesy of Google.
No, I do not think that outfit from J. Jill is cute. Remember, that model is 5′-10″, 110 lbs and has no hips.
6. Matching Set: If the bottom has a print, and that print is echoed on the top, then throw it away. You’ll notice that these outfits come with a dirndl skirt or elastic-waist pants. I rest my case.
Shapeless to hide all your bad features - but all your good ones, too!
And finally….
7. If you don’t like it: Even if your favorite Aunt Sally got it for you from her trip around the world. Even if your husband bought it for your birthday 5 years ago. Especially! because you don’t want him doing it again!!
**************
I can hear you, you know. I’m a mom, too, so not only do I have eyes in the back of my head, I have ears everywhere! I can hear all the reasons why you want to keep those things. If you’re saying, “but I only wear this around the house,” then my response has to be, “Don’t you want to be attractive for your husband and a good role model to your children?”
Go ahead. Do it. The next time you stand in front of your closet to find something to wear, you’ll be glad you did.
And I haven’t even talked about shoes.
About Jo-Lynne
Hilarious!! So true, we all need to be better about cleaning out our closets, I think. I’m always reminded of that this time of year, as I switch out my winter wardrobe for summer.
I can’t stand throwing out perfectly good clothes, even if they don’t fit, don’t look good on anybody, etc., so a friend recommended I use the material to make washcloths. Haven’t started this project yet, but feel better already about those 1998 jeans I’ll never wear but am too sentimental about to throw away…
I definitely have things that I am sentimental about…like the first Ann Taylor suit I bought when I first got a job. But I keep it in storage, not in my “active” closet. I give my clothes away to a thrift store so someone can use them.
I would add the Christmas (or any holiday, really) sweater or shirt.
Megan, You’ll like these posts:
https://allthingschic.net/2011/03/easter-parade.html
http://blackbeltoma.blogspot.com/2011/03/fashion-friday-st-patricks-if-you-must.html
I couldn’t agree more!! I figured they were included in the Baggy Tops and Matching Set catagory.
Amen – with (maybe) the exception of those who work in an elementary school, in which case you must vow to take off the offending item of clothing before you go anywhere else!
Haha that’s so funny because I think of those as “school teacher clothes” and now I know why! 🙂
Grace, I’m pretty sure I look just like the “baggy” photo while wearing my Soccer Team’s sweatshirt. Well, not quite so bad because my jeans aren’t tapered. Glad you live on the other side of the country so I don’t have to live in fear of a closet raid! Aside from my beloved soccer sweatshirt hoodie, I agreed with your other points, though my closet might not necessarily reflect that…
you would be proud of my my closet is free of all these horrible fashions 🙂
I would expect nothing less!
LOL! I just finished Clinton’s book and started cleaning out my closet, not that I have what’s on your list. However, I do have a hoodie from my children’s school which I will wear on those times of the month when I need comfy clothes.
Right now I’m working on my shoes. I hate to say this, but I do wear sneakers a lot. A lot. However, after reading Jo-Lynne’s recommendations of Tevas, somewhere, I picked up a pair from DSW, and a pair of cute red sandals, and now I wear the Tevas almost all the time, except when I’m wearing the red sandals. One pair of shoes at a time!
I know, darn, right? Sometimes I wish I were a caterpillar! (wear many pair of pretty shoes at the same time)
I have to disagree on the elastic waist pants.. All my leggings have an elastic waist and they make me look slimmer than any other pant I own.