Eww, pi-water

For the past couple of days I have been dissecting a device designed to enhance water so that it will provide magical benefit.

I like water. I like swimming in water. I like drinking water. I like washing myself in water; though some suggest I do not perform this purifying ritual often enough.

I like mixing things with water. Just this morning I poured hot water over the slightly baked beans of a tropical tree and made magic.

I am mostly water.

The surface of the planet I call home is mostly water.

If I do not drink enough water I will die. If I drink too much water I will die. If I drink water with bad stuff in it I will get sick. If I drink water with good stuff in it while cycling I can go farther and faster.

Water also has aesthetic qualities. Clear water bends or reflects light in pleasant ways. Some water tastes better than other water.

There is room in the totality of our cultural experience with water to make many claims about the interaction of man with water. The device I have been taking apart is associated with several specific claims. The device uses PIMag magic to produce water sometimes called PI-water. PI-Water will supposedly:

• -Eradicate Stomach cancer
• - Decrease of brain tumor
• - Improvement in leukemia
• - Dermatitis improvement
• - Improvement with alopecia
• -Improvement in diabetes
• -Improved liver function after hepatitis
• -Lowered blood pressure
• - Improvement in cardiac output
• -Rapid recovery from stroke
• -Relief of headaches and stiff joints
• -Relief of constipation
• -Improved overall health
• -Improved immunity (intake of pi-water should be increased in the early stages of. A cold, flu or virus
• -AIDS virus reportedly does not seem to multiply in this high-energy environment.
• - Pi-water has been used to store tissue samples instead of placing them in a hormone solution. The structure of the tissues remained intact for over 30 years using this process.
• - soaking meats increases tenderness
• - Fewer spices were needed as the tastes of foods were intensified.
• - Cleaning fruits and vegetables with pi-water removes toxins and prolongs their freshness
• - Unripened bananas can be soaked for 30 minutes to sweeten their taste.
• - Spraying plants with pi-water improves their colors, watering with pi- water increases root growth and foliage. . Pi-water may also prove very useful in preserving our natural habitats.
• - Pets exhibit a higher energy level when drinking pi-water
• - It is also beneficial as an odor remover when simply sprayed by a spray
• bottle or if the pet consumes the water.
• - Spraying their coat with the water will enhance shinier and cleaner fur.
• - Improved hair cleanliness, as well as skin
• - Laundry doesn’t yellow as easily.

Quite an impressive list of beneficial uses! How many other cancer therapeutics are known also to reduce the yellowing of laundry? It is hard to reasonably imagine how one would get that sort of information about other cancer therapeutics.

The patient is frail beyond his years, and almost floats on the cushioning of the comfy chair instead of settling in. It is late in the nurse’s shift, but she still manages a well worn but calming banter while preparing his chemotherapy IV.

“How are we feeling today?” she asks

“I’m a bit tired” the patient responds “Do you think that stuff you’re putting into my vein would make a good laundry additive?”

“Hmmmm?” She asks reflexively while simultaneously uncapping the IV’s needle.

“Do you think, if I sprayed this on cat pee, it would reduce the smell?” Asks the patient.

“Lovely weather we’re having” On “we’re” she pushes the needle into a vein in the bend of his left elbow.

“Ungh” He responds, and then “I would love to dip some bananas in this stuff”

Such an impressive list of positive uses does not grow from typical lines of inquiry. This list grew from the intellectual fertilizer of direct marketing. The manufacturer may never have considered PI-water for constipation, but a quick thinking direct marketer may have believed that one of his customers was cured of the complaint by using this product.

The list positive benefits grows with the popularity of a device. Only if the list gets too long, and gets too much attention does it demand a response from the manufacturer of the device. Then it can be easier to discontinue the device than address the bogosity of the claims. Nikken has discontinued both the Optimizer and its replacement the Optimizer II, and currently Nikken has no functional replacement in its product line (on the US site…It looks like one can still get the Optimizer II on the Australian site).

The sites that make the amplified claims also come and go. I will provide hyperlinks to the sites I quote from, but I doubt they will be operational after a few months.

The manufacturer presents much more conservative claims about its PI-Water, and supplies them in a little story.

Near a small town in Japan is an area with unusual topographical features. A narrow stream flows between two hills. As it happens, one of these hills is largely composed of a mineral called magnetite. The other hill contains calcium compounds. The stream between them courses over a bed of silicates, the material that forms natural crystal. And here, Japanese scientists discovered that the water from this stream had amazing results on the surrounding plants.

What they saw astounded them. They named this substance pi water. Then they set out to duplicate these natural conditions in the laboratory. Researchers found that by using special materials, they could reproduce the environment that led to pi water in nature. These discoveries are incorporated in Nikken PiMag™ products.

 
From there the story grows wild. Various sites provide enhanced information. Pi refers to the Pi meson (or Pion) which is specially enhanced in number or activity in PI-Water. There is also a structuring, or un-structuring of the water. Magnets play a role, as well as special ceramic technology.

The technology is supposed to help replace the need for a water softener, and it works best if one starts with glass-distilled water. It is also interesting to note that there are supposed to be more calcium ions in the PI-Water than in “normal” water.

 I can believe some of the claims. If one does laundry in essentially distilled water there should be fewer yellowing situations.

The claims mentioned in this entry are what I call the “High order” claims. One of the interesting things about PI-Water is that there is an elaborate set of lower order claims concerning its physical structure.

The nature of the lower order claims appears comprehensively intricate from a simple surface scan. There are strange spectroscopic measurements. There is even a rare physical parameter called, and I am not making this up: “Eww”. Delving into this information causes my head to spin slightly on one of its axis. I hope to calm down soon, and spin you up an entry from what I’ve been learning.

Perhaps I should go drink a glass of water, or take a hot shower to help calm down?