John Palmer - £35m TimeShare Compensation

So John Palmer has to fork out £35 million in compensation to people he swindled out of TimeShare cash. That's compensation, but what about punitive damages? The man's worth over £300m! Which, at a simple 5% interest rate, will be worth about £430m by the time he gets out of prison. That's if it's in cash, of course (and if the best interest rate he can find is only 5%). In reality, most of his assets are in property, which will no doubt increase in value by a lot more than 5% per year.

£35m is a drop in the ocean to a man like John Palmer.

I've never met him, but I knew his minder, Dennis. In fact, Sue used to do his wife's nails. While Dennis and I were never destined to be soul buddies - he's kind of hard to like - I used to drink with HIS minder. (Why does a minder need a minder?). Every Sunday we'd have a few beers in a bar run by a mate of mine in Portugal and he'd try to talk me into working for them. I'm mixed with the best I have, haven't I? (That last line was written in sarcasm, in case you can't see the rueful expression on my face).

The name Dennis is known in the TimeShare world, but for reasons that are only whispered.

It's a skanking, dangerous world. And this a shame because the product is supreme. How can you knock paying £7000 for holiday accommodation anywhere in the world for the rest of your life? Yes, you've got to pay flights on top of that, and about £100-£200 per family per year maintenance fee. But it's 4 and 5 star accommodation that will sleep 4-6 adults.

Ask anyone who owns TimeShare and they'll all tell you the same thing. They are delighted with it. The only people who criticise the TimeShare way of taking holidays are people who don't own and so know nothing about it. They've been to a presentation or two, and think they know it all.

Unfortunately, a very small section of the TimeShare world has been taken over by gangsters. And they have no long-term vision. They take the money and run. The legitimate TimeShare property owners can reap the rewards of their endeavours for the rest of their life.

Once they've sold a TimeShare apartment, they can collect £5200-£10,400 in maintenance a year, PER APARTMENT. Multiply that times 50-500 apartments and you've got a fair old wedge. They can then also make money in the bars and restaurants, and on trips etc. They can even sell the flights at a small mark-up and make a margin on car hire. They can resell apartments, taking a small profit for themselves, acting as estate agents if anyone wants to buy a resell. They can be set up for life.

And there's nothing wrong with this. It's a business. Hotels are doing the same all over the world. And, of course, like any business, it does have overheads. But there's still a nice profit. Fair play to them.

But the gangsters don't have this vision. They take over a resort, either through threats of violence or by purchasing it with money from jobs like the Brinx Mat robbery. They sell it for a year and then @!#$ off, taking everyone's money with them. They sell "floating time", claiming you can holiday any time of year, but in reality you then own nothing.

There's a TimeShare resort in Portugal called Vale Navio that this has happened to. It's practically a ghost town now. You could probably purchase the whole resort for about £2m, and it would cost another million to do up. But you'd then have an ongoing concern. This is not just a apartment block I'm talking about. This is a complete resort made up of several roads with restaurants, shops and bars, along with horse riding stables and swimming pools. But for the moment it remains desolate.

The gangsters moved in, took everyone's money and ruined it.

He's a scary man, John Palmer. A close friend of mine was working for him out in Tenerife. He told Palmer he was quitting. "No trouble, big man," said Palmer (my buddy's quite rotund), "You'll be off the island by Tuesday, won't you?" In other words, Palmer didn't want him working for any of his competition. My buddy was off the island by Tuesday.

In my opinion, John Palmer should be forced to pay a lot more than £35m compensation.