Al's Wedding-related jokes
and one-liners.
This marriage jokes list started as just a collection of amusing (to me, at least) odds and ends which would catch my eye from time to time. This collection was born when I decided to focus on marriage/relationship/battle-of-the-sexes items. (You should see the items I left out!) With some creativity, many of the items on these pages could be worked into a wedding reception speech. Using some of them in speeches will require more creativity (or courage) than others. Sensitive souls may find some of the material rather raw.
DISCLAIMER: Marriage is adult business. Like sex, kids may enjoy it, too, but they have no idea of what they're really getting into. If anything here frightens you, perhaps you are not ready for a long-term relationship: run away while you still can! (If you are so easily dissuaded, you are most assuredly not ready!) If, like most, you choose not to heed that warning, then take
this advice: a sense of humor may be your only hope of breaking even in the marriage game, and, I believe, breaking even is the best you should ever hope for. Please consider this material an opportunity to practice laughing. Some Other Wedding Related Links
& Resources |
A word from our sponsor: After you've looked over a few of these pages, and before you surf off, please take just one minute share your favorite bit of wedding wisdom. The "toasts" area has been very popular lately. Perhaps you have heard a good one that we don't have. Please pass it on!. You may also e-mail me a note with your comments. Thank you for your input. Rest assured I'll
use it to help make the world a better place.
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Wedding Humor Topics: |
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Philosophy of experience | When you spend so much time with someone, you're bound to learn a few things. |
Bachelor Jokes |
Like it or not, most bachelors are thought of as little more
than grooms in training, so . . . (this is where I've hidden lots of the sex jokes -- be warned!) |
Wedding Toasts!
and More Toasts! |
To give you a few more options for your wedding speech besides, "bottoms up!" |
The Honeymoon | Ask any newlywed, it's never quite as expected. |
The Devil Rum | If only so I don't have to mix them in with the others, these "drunk jokes" get their own category. |
Inlaws and family | Speaks for itself . . . Mother-in-law jokes are here. |
Food | Everybody has to eat! For better or worse, there's nothing like good ole home cookin! |
Money |
If money grew on trees . . . (would more people stay married longer?) |
After all these years together . . . | . . and the years, they do fly. |
The thrill is gone | Uh oh! Seven year itch and beyond--Ex-wife, ex-husband, divorce jokes and worse. |
For your feminine side | In overview, wedding jokes seem to be a male-dominated topic. These husband jokes and other male-bashing are a feeble attempt to provide equal time to the fairer sex. |
The Kiss | Popular romantic pastime classified and defined |
I'm glad I'm a man | woman |
Battle of the Sexes: Scorecard | For those who believe that it's not about winning or losing -- just that it's fun to play the game. |